THE SPIRITUAL BATTLE – 41 What About Premarital Sex?
“16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. 17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. 18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Corinthians 6:16-20). KJV
Loved ones, in mankind’s Spiritual Battle with Satan and sin, sex before marriage and adultery are two successful tools the devil has always used to destroy the lives of God’s human creation.
In most of the world’s governments it is legal to have sex when you are not married. Therefore, sex before marriage, even for many Christians, has lost any sense of stigma. Watch almost any television show or any movie that involves dating or romance, and you will find that sexual activity between non-married persons is completely normal and utterly pervasive.
Most “Christians” won’t even notice when popular songs, shows, videos, or movies routinely show, describe, or assume sex before marriage.
If worldliness is whatever makes sin look normal and righteousness look strange, then the routine acceptance of sex before marriage is one of the clearest signs of worldliness in our age. The Holy Spirit plainly teaches that the followers of Jesus must obey God rather than the religious or irreligious men of this world (Acts 5:27-29).
If you want to honor God with your body and with every area of your life, it would not be fine to have sex before marriage. Having sex before marriage is a sin and is not pleasing to God, so if you truly want to follow God, this would mean waiting until marriage to have sex.
From the Bible we can clearly see that it is wrong to have sex before marriage, and thus such behavior is clearly a sin. “Fornication” is the (now rarely used word) for sex between two persons who are not married.
In traditional terms, adultery has often meant illicit sex once married, and fornication has meant illicit sex outside of marriage. The word “fornication” is used in the King James Version in 1 Corinthians 6:18, but the Greek word there is "porneia" which includes every kind of illicit sexual activity, from adultery to homosexuality to prostitution to sex before marriage.
The Bible doesn’t dwell on the sin of fornication because such behavior was, in the minds of the biblical authors, clearly and obviously wrong. We see this assumption in several places. According to Exodus 22:16–17, the man who has sex with a non-engaged virgin, should make her his wife, indicating that sexual intercourse is a covenant-forming activity not to be entered into apart from the covenant bonds of marriage.
Likewise, according to Deuteronomy 22:13–21, if a woman has sex before marriage, she is put in the same category as a prostitute (whore). The Jewish Torah does not allow for sex before marriage.
The New Testament carries forward the same sexual boundaries found in the Old Testament. When Joseph sought to quietly break off his betrothal to pregnant Mary, it is obvious that Joseph considers Mary to have done something wrong and that the whole community will also disapprove of Mary’s behavior (Matthew 1:19). The Bible also considers it important for us to know that Mary really was a virgin (Matthew 1:20; Luke 1:34).
Most clearly, the logic of 1 Corinthians 7—that it is better to marry than to burn with passion (1 Corinthians 7:9)—only works on the assumption that sexual activity belongs in marriage and not outside of marriage. The strong desire for sexual intimacy should only be fulfilled within the bonds of marriage between a man and woman (1 Corinthians 7:36–38). Every other context for sexual intimacy is sin.
This means that sexual activity before marriage—which includes sexual intercourse, and by extension, every kind of romantic activity involving one’s sexual parts—is prohibited by God.
Why Is It Wrong?
That fornication is sin should be obvious from even a cursory reading of the Bible. The sense one gets from reading the Scriptures is that the people of God knew fornication was obviously wrong and so there wasn’t a lot to say except to set forth the consequences of the sin and how to avoid and flee the sin. Nevertheless, if we think a bit broader and deeper, it’s not hard to understand why the Bible puts premarital sex outside the bounds of licit sexual behavior.
Simply put, fornication is a sin because it is inconsistent with the nature of sex, the nature of marriage, and the nature of the family. Marriage is a covenant bond between a man and woman (Malachi 2:14), a covenantal bond sealed by the one flesh union of sexual intimacy (Genesis 2:24).
When couples have sex before marriage, they are engaging in private activity whose purpose is to consummate a public promise. Without the latter, the former is an endeavor to enjoy the benefits of the covenant without formally entering into the covenant.
We should not overlook the language of “one flesh” in Genesis 2:24. On one level, it can be argued that the language of “one flesh” means sexual intimacy should not take place unless the couple is ready to commit to “oneness” in every other area of the relationship. Sex is the final and most intimate of relational bonds, and it should not be entered into unless the couple has promised to be bound together for life. That is a fair inference from the language of “one flesh.”
At the same time, the more direct reference is not to the oneness of relational intimacy but to the oneness of biological function. The reason that same-sex unions do not constitute marriage is the same reason that couples do not commit fornication by merely holding hands or hugging.
“One flesh” does not refer to any kind of activity that physically connects one person to another. A man and a woman become “one flesh” in sexual intercourse because their individual bodies come together for a singular biological purpose.
Marriage is that sort of union which, if all the plumbing is working correctly and takes place at the opportune time, produces children. This doesn’t mean every act of sex must produce children, but it does mean that when we engage in sexual activity, we are opening ourselves up to the gift of children.
The promises made in marriage matter not just for the bride and groom. The promises matter for the sake of the children that they hope to produce and for the sake of the wider community that benefits when children are born in wedlock and raised by their two biological parents.
Sex before marriage undermines all this. Fornication only “works” if sex can be divorced from the promises that constitute a marriage, divorced from the public dimension of marriage, and divorced from the children that normally come from marriage and flourish most in the context of marriage.
The Bible clearly and explicitly says that premarital sex is wrong. The Bible just as clearly, if more implicitly, teaches that premarital sex is personally selfish and publicly subversive of the goods that marriage is meant to promote and protect.
What If I’ve Already Committed this Wrong?
We offer a word of hope for those who already know that premarital sex is wrong and feel terrible that they have committed this sin. Think of the second chance given to the prostitute Gomer in the book of Hosea. Think of the sexual sinners in the genealogy of Jesus. Think about the women who were sexual sinners who encountered God’s grace in Jesus. Most importantly, think of the cross where all our sins can be washed whiter than snow by the blood of our Lord.
It’s true that sex before marriage is a sin. However, fornication is not an unforgivable sin, neither does it consign a person to a life of second-class spiritual citizenship. Repentance and confession of your sin are the keys to forgiveness if you are a Christian (Acts 8:22). God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:7-10).
If you are not yet a Christian, you must be born again by obeying the gospel plan of salvation, i.e., hearing, believing, repenting, confessing Jesus, and being immersed (baptized) in water into Christ (Romans 6:3-4) for the forgiveness of your sins (Acts 2:38).
Shared with you by Samuel A. Matthews, preaching with the Liberty NW church of Christ, meeting in Portland, Oregon, USA. The God of Heaven and Earth is so good, and His love reaches all. He is in control, so trust Him. We love you with the love of the Lord (John 13:34-35).