John 29 - You Are My Friends
YOU ARE MY FRIENDS
#29
John 15:12-17
12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. 13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. 14 Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. 15 Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you. 16 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you. 17 These things I command you, that ye love one another.
Friends and Commandments
"You are my friends if you do what I command you" (John 15:14). Now, I'm not going to lie. I find that to be a humorous standard of friendship. I cannot imagine offering friendship to somebody based on whether or not they dutifully obey whatever command I make up. I imagine I wouldn't have too many friends. Just picture your first day at a new job - some polite - looking person sits down next to you, looks you squarely in the eye, and says, "If you obey everything I tell you to do, I'll let you be my friend." Wouldn't that strike you as kind of odd?
It should. Something odd is happening here. This is not the way we view friendship at all. On the one hand, modern views of friendship do vary significantly from the way the word is used in many ancient contexts. Ancient friendships can be a bit odd to modern readers.
Friendship often seemed to be less about simple recreation and mutual interests and more about common goals and mutual benefit.
In Roman society, you wouldn't want to offer friendship to someone in a lower class than you; it would be of no benefit. Friendship was often about climbing the social ladder or making alliances.
Detailing the trial and their mutual condemnation of Jesus, Luke 23:12 says, "Now Herod and Pilate became friends with one another that very day; for before they had been enemies with each other." The idea is less about them camping together, laughing and telling old stories around the fire, and more about their new political alliance.
The same is true just later in John when the Jews tell Pilate: "If you release this Man, you are no friend of Caesar" (John 19:12). Pilate can't keep a political alliance or "friendship" with Caesar if he allows someone else to go around calling Himself a king.
David and Jonathan, members of opposing households, formed an alliance with each other. It was an alliance rooted in love for each other, but it certainly had political overtones. They should have been enemies, as Jonathan's dad was king, and Jonathan may have been next in line to inherit the throne, but the prophet, Samuel, chose David instead, a shepherd boy from an insignificant family.
Rather than greed and passion for self-promotion, Jonathan makes an alliance with David out of respect for God and love for man. In response, David, after Jonathan's death, sees to the care of Jonathan's crippled son Mephibosheth. Friendship does not necessarily mean both parties are on equal footing. David, as king, would have been able to give commands for even his friends to obey. Yet, it does mean trust, loyalty, and allegiance.
Perhaps along similar lines, Jesus' extension of friendship is clearly not shared among equals but is about alliance and loyalty. If you view friendship as merely pleasant and fun relationships among equals, this passage won't sit well with you.
Where does Jesus get the nerve to offer friendship only if they obey whatever it is He says? Well, for one, He is the Lord God of the universe. So that changes things a bit.
Repeatedly, over and over again, it is so important to read John in light of the deity of Jesus. John begins intentionally with the deity of Jesus. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God" (John 1:1). If that is not true, then the saying about Jesus is true: "He has a demon and is insane" (John 10:20). Jesus does not speak the way a mere man speaks. Nor should He.
However, we think there is more going on here also. If you read it as the divine Jesus ordering His "friends" around and only offering friendship to those who obey Him, it sounds more like slavery than friendship. This passage needs to be read with the idea of alliance and the deity of Jesus firmly established, but this passage must also be read in light of what the commandment is.
This is not the same as a master commanding a slave. This is not the same as a mighty nation bossing around a smaller nation in the name of an alliance. This is not God bossing around His slaves. This command isn't something a slave master would give. What is Jesus commanding? Somehow, and this is the most important point, obeying this command makes you a friend rather than a slave.
No Longer Slaves
When I think of obeying commands, I think of slavery more than I think of friendship. I don't generally give commands to my friends. They don't give commands to me. Slaves are given commands, though. Slaves must follow commands or face dire consequences. Jesus, as the embodied God of Israel, has every right to give commands. Yet, somehow, His commands have the exact opposite effect of a slave master's commands. Obeying His commands make you His friend.
"No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you." (John 15:15). I can think of two vital distinctions between Jesus' commands and a slave owner's. The first He mentions in this verse. The slave owner does not explain himself. After all, "a slave is no greater than his master" (John 13:16; 15:20). The slave has no idea why he is following a given command. He doesn't know his master's ultimate plans or goals, and the slave's master doesn't sit down around a meal, wash his slave's feet, and tell the slave all of his plans.
Jesus is no slave master, and this is not blind mechanical obedience to purposeless or selfish commands. Though He could and has every right to, He does not treat these disciples as slaves. They are friends. So He has this meal, and He tells them His plans.
The second distinction is made right before verse 15. Let's look back and see what the command actually is: "This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you" (John 15:12; see also 13:34-35 and 15:17). Three times Jesus explains His command is to "love one another." His command is not to go and dig a ditch because the master has plans. His command is not to build the master a bigger barn so he can store up for a rainy day. His command is not to pick wheat, plow a field, or wash his feet. His command is to follow His example of love.
Just as I Have Loved You
"Just as I have loved you" is in John 13:34 and John 15:12. This love is seen most explicitly in the life of Jesus through service (like foot-washing) but also in the death of Jesus on the cross. "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). To love one another, just as Jesus loves, is to die for one another. "We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren" (1 John 3:16).
This is a hard command. Perhaps the hardest in all of Scripture. Not every brother is easy to love. Not every disciple acts as he should or embodies the love of Jesus. It's hard to love those who don't love you in return, to love "just as I have loved you." Jesus died on the cross, not just for those who are easy to love. Not just for those who return His love.
Jesus died for me, knowing my best moments and my worst moments. He died for me, knowing I would be both kind and selfish. He died for me, knowing I would obey and thrive and knowing I would sin and fail. No human is always right, and certainly, no human is always righteous.
However, we're called to love in the way of Jesus anyway—Jesus who washed Judas's feet and died for ungodly men. Can you love one another when you are hurt? When you're wronged? When you're abandoned? When you're betrayed? When you're denied? Can you strive to love like Jesus? That's the challenge of friendship with Christ.